The Guy in the Mirror

One thing in my life I have noticed recently is that everyone is moving on. By that I mean growing up. I, on the other hand am not. Still single, no kids, no house, no real responsibility (except my job).

Lately I have been having conversations with a friend of mine that has hit a wall in her life. We have a steady Monday coffee date... we need this once a week date in order to talk things out... she really is a good friend... she is at that point where everything has stopped making sense. Like me she is single (recently), homeless, kid-less, and lost in that fog of “what the hell am I doing” --- so the two of us trying to give each other advice is kind of like staring in a mirror and listening to yourself.

Talking with her has recently brought up some issues. I don’t know if I want to be a home owner, renter, or that guy that lives in a van... I don’t know if I want to get married, have the 2.5 kids and the family dog... I just don’t know... but I do know that I am not sad about that... it’s everyone else that seems to be... and worse they are sad FOR ME...

For some reason everyone seems to think there is something wrong with you if you are single. Something wrong with you if you are not living up to that so called life that everyone has been told they need. I tell my friend to relax, take it easy, she’s still young. Why rush everything...

The perfect scenario is if the two of us get a place together... financially it would work out... between the two of us we can easily afford a great place... but there is a snag... I am trying to save up money so I can (if I choose to) buy a place. Moving in with her would set me back on that. I have never committed to anything that big in my life... getting a mortgage and becoming a homeowner scares the crap out of me... Which brings me back full circle... see, the only reason I don’t just call her up right now and move in is because I am lost... it’s because I don’t know what I want... I could easily scrap this pipe dream of owning my own place and just move in with her, but I am confused... so far I am sticking to my gut and saving money and moving towards the goal of getting my own place. Butterflies in the stomach and all, I am seeing this through...

I freely admit that I have been the type of guy that will take the easy route. I would love to say I was that guy that took the road less traveled but it just isn’t me... I am trying to change that, and I am starting with this... I got this (believe it or not) off of a Starbucks cup:

The most important thing in life is to stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.” Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.

So, I WILL save up to buy a place... I WILL do what is hard, and in the end hopefully I can look back and say I did the right thing... At some point I am going to have to stop giving advice to that guy in the mirror and start listening to the advice...